Thankful

This Thanksgiving, of all the years, has me in such a different place than I've been in years past, and I think it's helped me put things into perspective and be a little more appreciate and grateful for all of the tender mercies in my life. 

I think back to last year, home from my mission on medical release, spending most of my days in pain with excruciating migraines and dealing with the emotional aftermath of an early release (which included missing my Mexico with all my heart). Throwing myself into family history and reaping the some incredible and touching rewards as I found so many of my Polish-German ancestors that needed their work done.

I think of the year before, where I was a senior in college, and just went through the temple, all while most of my friends had left on missions, and one of my best friends was preparing to leave on hers. All while I was getting ready to do my student teaching, juggling work and class and driving an hour to St George to go to the temple (and warmth). 

There's a lot of years of thanksgivings, a lot of memories. Remembering my first year of college, and the roommate thanksgiving we held where we made turkey hats and ate monkey bread and pie.

The year I was a senior in high school, and we were having our first Madrigals Christmas concert the next week, and still had a lot of choreography to learn and master.

A few years before, our first Thanksgiving without our grandpa, who was the heart and soul of our family, and who's empty chair made us think back and really appreciate the good things in life, and how quickly they come and go.

Even a few years before that, where we had just finished our pool in Arizona, and Cassidy and I had to test it out, and jumped in the freezing cold water in November. We only stayed for about three minutes before we were chilled to the bone! 

We've had some really good memories over the years. I attribute a lot of that to my sweet family. Food and gifts, music and decorations are all well and good, but it's people that make the memories, not things. 

This year, I'm grateful for so many things- my wonderful job, my car that's already been paid off, my apartment and , but what I'm grateful for most are the people in my life.

My friends. My coworkers, and roommate. My Nana and Gram, my cousins and aunts and uncles, and second cousins. My cats and dogs- But especially- with all of my heart- my mom, my dad, my sisters and my brother and sister in law. 

Friends come and go- that much I've learned, more than once- but family is forever. They're my real best friends. 

And I can't imagine my life without them.

Perspective

So I've been home for about six weeks, and coming home the second time around meant (you guessed it), the great job search. I'd been pretty stressed because I did graduate in special and elementary education, but I just wasn't sure I wanted to jump into teaching right away. I was still recovering physically, mentally and emotionally from two bouts of mission difficulties and I just didn't know if I was ready for the commitment level that comes with being a full time teacher.

It's pretty intimidating, coming back and instantly having to look for something to support you through the next few months or even years. Especially because I've been thinking more and more about grad school, and what I want to do to expand my horizons and potential jobs. I was one of those people who didn't change their major in college- not even once (unless you count changing from general studies to my real major, which everyone has to do). 

In retrospect, it might have been better to really truly figure out what I wanted to do for work, rather than jump into my major because I didn't want to lose or waste any credits. Not that I don't love teaching-- I do. I'm just not one hundred percent sure it's something I want to do right at this time.

For grad school, I'm looking into a few options. Possibly speech-language pathology, but I'm also looking into something humanitarian-services related, as well as possibly wildlife conservation. I haven't figured out exactly what I plan on doing, but since I want to pay off my undergraduate student loans before I apply for grad school, I know I have at least a little bit of time before I really need to worry about the GRE and applications.

So when it came to figuring out a job situation, I started looking in the education spectre. I had two interviews at two different preschools. One I had to turn down because it was downtown and a bit too far away to drive on a daily basis. The other, I accepted, but after a week and a half, it wasn't working out (for personal reasons). The week that I left that job, I started applying to a bunch of positions on KSL jobs. Again, I was blessed to have two different interviews by two different locations. 

One of these interviews took place last Thursday morning. That afternoon, I got a call offering me the position. I was so happy to be able to accept the job at the Salt Lake Board of Realtors! The pay was exponentially better than my previous jobs, and the benefits and environment were just unbelievably amazing.  

I started this past week, and it's been such an amazing experience. Every day, I learn new things about the job and the company, and every day I go home to my parents and spend ten minutes telling them how amazing this position is, the awesome benefits of working there, how wonderful the people I get to work with are, and how much I am loving everything about this job. 

Following a weekend of General Conference, I just feel so incredibly blessed to be where I am right now in my life. Sometimes, I still fight some bitter feelings about being home from my mission and seeing others out serving and having the most amazing experiences. I'm human, and I'm trying to adjust to the trials I've been given in this life. 

But having this job, having this time with my family before everyone goes off in their different directions (Virginia, Mississippi and Idaho)-- I'm so grateful. Because if I didn't have these trials, I wouldn't have these amazing blessings. 

And I wouldn't trade those blessings for anything in the world. 

Home Again

Well, if you haven't read on Facebook or seen elsewhere... I'm home again from the mission. Sadly, I will not be able to go back out again. During the time I spent on the mission, my back and neck problems came back and I spent some time in the emergency room. Prayerfully, my mission president and I decided I would return home. Right now, I'm in physical therapy for my back and neck and undergoing a series of tests to help diagnose the internal problems I developed in California.  

But boy! Am I grateful for the time I spent in California. I love my missions! Those three months are the greatest parts of my life thus far. It is AMAZING to see how different I feel between August and now.  I wouldn't give up those three months for anything. My heart forever belongs to California, and Mexico. To la familia Ganuza, to Marili and Yousely and Rosi. To the Church, forever and always. 

Pues, quiero compartir mi testimonio en Español, porque siempre my corazón es un parte de este. Yo sé que esta Iglesia es verdadera! Y también El Libro de Mormón es la palabra de Dios y juntos con la Biblia, testifican de Jesucristo  y el amor de Dios. Estoy agradecido por el tiempo yo tuve a enseñar las personas en Mexico y California también, y especialmente la oportunidad yo tuve a enseñar sobre historia familiar y ayudarles encontrar sus familias y antepasados. Yo sé que la obra de historia familiar y la obra misional son la misma obra. Y en todo eso, yo sé que Dios les ama y especialmente Dios me ama. Estoy agradecido por la oportunidad yo tuve a ser una misionara. Lo extraño, pero yo sé que mi vida... solo es comienzo, ahora, aqui. Les amo, mi amigos. La Iglesia es verdadera. Nunca lo olvides. Les bendecirá. 

Rocky Top Christmas

We had the opportunity this year to visit my Dad's family in Tennessee. They all come from Georgia, Ohio, or of course, 'ole Rocky Top, so we don't get to see them very often. We were lucky enough to have almost everyone there, except for (of course) Cassidy and Cody & Rachelle, who were in Louisiana and Arizona respectively. 

Of course, before we even opened presents, we got Skype with SISTER STEELE who is finishing her last transfer and heading back to Utah in February. She has a Southern drawl, so we still felt a little out of place with the rest of our southeastern cousins... 

After finishing presents at about three pm (yes... three pm... that's what you get when you don't start opening them until ONE THIRTY and you have all your cousins and aunts and uncles over to open presents with you) we figured we should try and get a nice little family photo with all of us together.

We struggled just a little bit.... 

And of course, Christmas night is the perfect time for a nice little family round of gambling....

and Cards Against Humanity, obviously.

Which, as you know, is about as family oriented as Las Vegas. 

It was nice to go hiking in the Smoky Mountains the next day though. The original trail we wanted to go was a little crowded (pretty weird for the day after Christmas if you ask me), so we found another trail that followed the river. Only it didn't end.....

Overall... it was a lovely Christmas. Even if I currently have a carsick hangover from all those curvy Tennessee backroads... 

Frohe Weihnachten

Yeah, yeah I know.

That's German.

Well you may not know, but despite the fact that I was called to Mexico, I made sure to put on my mission papers that I knew quite a bit of German.

Well, high school German. So about as good as I could get.

Funny story... at one point, during one of our lessons in the MTC, I didn't know the Spanish word I wanted to use. So I used the German one instead...

whooops.... 

I'll never forget how confused my teacher looked. My companion, on the other hand, busted out laughing and I think we giggled for a solid five minutes with that one.

I never had the foresight to think that taking Spanish would be more beneficial than German.

Ha.... ha.... irrelevant..... 

side note : my dad served in the army and was stationed in Germany for three years during the cold war, and we had the opportunity a few years ago on our way to Serbia to visit his old stomping grounds and explore the wonderful, beautiful (rainy) Deutschland for a few days.

side note number two :  my great great grandma and grandpa immigrated from europe, being born in Germany and Poland respectively. Soooo we have a preeeeetty strong German/Polish family history that I'm insanely proud of.

side note number three: I actually saw my high school german teacher (from when I went to high school in Arizona) in the MTC (at the Provo temple during a session, actually).... she and her husband were on their way to serve in the Germany Berlin mission... talk about a small world.

Anyways... 

The point of this is... I loooooooove all things German. I love Germany. I love schnitzel. I love spätzle. I love Neuschwanstein. I love little german bakeries and chocolate croissants and bratwurst and lederhosen and biergartens (sans beer, of course) and little cobblestone streets and castles and gothic architecture and cathedrals and the autobahn.

Earlier today, my mom emailed me a link to a little shindig that goes on each time this year for a few days. Christkindlmarkt. A little collection of wooden shops, selling different things- from jewelry to little German clocks and nutcrackers... and there was also live reindeer, German yodelers, Alp horns, and visits from St Nicholas himself. Obviously, we decided to go (at my insistance, of course).

It was magical. 

For anyone who wants to take a look into our most recent trip to the r e a l  Germany... you can check out the pictures in this adorable little slideshow as it takes you down the Steele family memory lane.... through Münich, Dachau, Bavaria.... ahhhhhh those were the days.

& in honor of weihnachten.... alles liebe! 

"An Attitude of Gratitude"

"We can lift ourselves, and others as well, when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues." - President Thomas S Monson

I am GRATEFUL... to have grown up in a loving family, with a supportive mother and father who loved me and provided for me.

I am GRATEFUL... for a father who's favorite hobby became his job, and that he is happy where he works and good at what he does.

I am GRATEFUL... for a mother who I can call my best friend, who comes to visit me at school, who shares a love of hiking and books and who knows me better than I know myself.

I am GRATEFUL... for a brother and sister-in-law who sacrifice so much to protect the integrity of this country, and who have gone through so much but somehow still manage to make it through.

I am GRATEFUL... for a older sister, who is the example of hard work and patience, and who believes that being a dork is the best thing in the world if it makes you happy.

I am GRATEFUL... for a little sister who has put enough effort into our relationship that I now consider her one of my closest friends, and has set the most wonderful example for me in recent years.

I am GRATEFUL... for three dogs and three cats that have brought me greater joy than I could possibly imagine in fuzzy four-footed creatures, and whom I love more than words can express.

I am GRATEFUL... for my education, that through hard work and wonderful opportunities, I can now pass on my knowledge to younger generations and shape their lives in unimaginable ways.

I am GRATEFUL... for my sweet friends, who have helped me through the hardest times of my life, who have never given up on me, and who have made me laugh and have made me far happier than I ever thought I would be

I am GRATEFUL... for a car that runs and keeps me safe, that I can call my own, and that I have loved since the day I started driving it almost six years ago.

I am GRATEFUL... for a warm bed at night, a fireplace, a house with a large kitchen and spacious backyard where my dogs can play and I can see the trees and mountains and watch the rain on the windows when the storms blow in.

I am GRATEFUL... for the health that I enjoy, that I only have minor complaints and issues and that I am still alive and able to find joy in every day.

I am GRATEFUL... for the many people I've had the opportunity to meet in the thirteen houses and three states I've lived in in the past twenty two years, the things I've learned from them, and the knowledge that my life is forever changed because of their influence and kindness.

I am GRATEFUL... for modern technology, that allows us to keep in touch with people half a world away, and gives us opportunities to make a livelihood, maintain relationships, and change the world.

I am GRATEFUL... for the opportunities I've had to travel the world, for each cathedral or museum I've visited, each bridge I've crossed or field I've trekked, for bringing me knowledge and experience, and a desire for adventure that will never be quenched.

I am GRATEFUL... for the mountains that are so close by, where I can climb the rocks, hike the trails, smell the wildflowers and see the world from an unforgettable vantage point.

I am GRATEFUL... for a gospel that brings me so much peace, that teaches that all injustices will be made right in the end, that teachers that we can live with our families forever, and we will get to see them again, that we have an older brother who loved us enough to die for us, and that we can find happiness in this seemingly dark and bitter world.

I am GRATEFUL... for the time that I had to serve in my mission in Mexico, the lessons and language I learned, the people who influenced me more than they can possibly know, and the hope for a future where I can be a missionary once more.

I am GRATEFUL... for the blessings which I can't count, the ones that I don't remember, the ones that I used to have but no longer enjoy, and the endless and unimaginable blessings I will be able to enjoy in the future.

I am GRATEFUL... that I have so many things to be grateful for.

Conference Thoughts, Tender Mercies, & Missionary Nametags

There's a story in Alma, shortly after the conversion of Alma the Younger. He's preaching in Melek and he's able to have this great success, this amazing and wonderful success in Melek and so many people feel the spirit and "they were baptized throughout the land". After Alma had finished preaching in Melek, he traveled to Ammonihah and was preaching in Ammonihah, but the people there were so wicked that they cast him out of the city and nobody heard his word or listened to him at all. In Alma 8:14-15, it reads:

14 And it came to pass that while he was journeying thither, being weighed down with sorrow, wading through much tribulation and anguish of soul, because of the wickedness of the people who were in the city of Ammonihah, it came to pass while Alma was thus weighed down with sorrow, behold an angel of the Lord appeared unto him, saying:

 15 Blessed art thou, Alma; therefore, lift up thy head and rejoice, for thou hast great cause to rejoice; for thou hast been faithful in keeping the commandments of God... 

That scripture has been keeping me positive, I think, when nothing else has been able to. I would be lying if I didn't say that this has been one of the most difficult times of my entire life. I go back and forth between being grateful to be home and have access to the medical care that I have... and feeling like a complete and total failure. A failure because I couldn't be a missionary. A failure because I couldn't fulfill my purpose, because I didn't baptize anybody, because I barely even made it out of the MTC before I had to go home.

I listened to this talk by John Bytheway in the El Paso airport on my way home from my mission where he mentioned this scripture in Alma. Alma, being one of the most successful missionaries in the book of Mormon, was discouraged by his lack of success. But the angel (the angel who had originally appeared to him in his initial conversion) appeared unto him and told him that because he had been obedient, he had reason to rejoice. Because he had been faithful, because he had followed the commandments of God, he had a reason to rejoice. It didn't matter that the people had rejected him, that no one had listened to him in Ammonihah. In my case, it didn't matter that I had only made it eight weeks in the mission before my health made me return home. Maybe someone is reading this who's in a similar situation to myself and who feels like they weren't a success on their mission because they didn't baptize or they didn't have many converts or they didn't even last very long in the mission because of health reasons. 

Heavenly Father cares more about your HEART than he cares about your STATISTICS. "God doesn't care nearly as much about where you have been as He does about where you are and, with His help, where you are willing to go.”  - Jeffrey R. Holland

"My dear brothers and sisters, it may be true that man is nothing in comparison to the greatness of the universe. At times we may even feel insignificant, invisible, alone, or forgotten. But always remember—you matter to Him! If you ever doubt that, consider these four divine principles:

First, God loves the humble and meek, for they are “greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”¹⁷

Second, the Lord entrusts “the fulness of [His] gospel [to] be proclaimed by the weak and the simple unto the ends of the world.”¹⁸ He has chosen “the weak things of the world [to] come forth and break down the mighty and strong ones”¹⁹ and to put to shame “the things which are mighty.”²⁰

Third, no matter where you live, no matter how humble your circumstances, how meager your employment, how limited your abilities, how ordinary your appearance, or how little your calling in the Church may appear to you, you are not invisible to your Heavenly Father. He loves you. He knows your humble heart and your acts of love and kindness. Together, they form a lasting testimony of your fidelity and faith.

Fourth and finally, please understand that what you see and experience now is not what forever will be. You will not feel loneliness, sorrow, pain, or discouragement forever. We have the faithful promise of God that He will neither forget nor forsake those who incline their hearts to Him.²¹Have hope and faith in that promise. Learn to love your Heavenly Father and become His disciple in word and in deed.

Be assured that if you but hold on, believe in Him, and remain faithful in keeping the commandments, one day you will experience for yourselves the promises revealed to the Apostle Paul: “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”²²

Brothers and sisters, the most powerful Being in the universe is the Father of your spirit. He knows you. He loves you with a perfect love.

God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season—He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him. " - Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "You Matter To Him", October 2011 General Conference

I met a man, a wonderful man, in the MTC, named Marco. He sent me this very sweet email a day or two after I returned home. In the email, he said: "The Lord works in myster[ious] ways, He knows your heart and [desires] to serve him. Your Name Tag is in your heart, nothing can take from YOU. One missionary told me one day: You don't have a name tag in your shirt, but you have [it] in your heart." Heavenly Father GETS it. He UNDERSTANDS. He knows your heart. He knows your desires. He knows your capabilities and limitations and potential. All He wants is for you to follow Him- always. Be obedient. Keep the commandments. Live up to your covenants. Live the gospel every day of your life. That's where the true blessings are found. 

This weekend, I had the wonderful opportunity to listen and witness general conference. I felt of the Spirit. I was able to listen and write the word of God as spoken by the mouth of His prophets. I saw miracles happen, and miracles happened to me. What an amazing opportunity for testimony building. 

I had the chance, very last minute, to go to the Saturday afternoon session with my friends from high school who both returned home from their missions earlier this year, one from Thailand and one from Mexico. All three of us sang together in the Alta High School madrigals from 2010-2011, and I'm still pleased to be able to call them my friends. This was my first general conference that I had attended in person, and that's where the miracle happened. I won't go into detail, because it's more on the personal side, but I will share this- Heavenly Father HEARS your PRAYERS and He LISTENS. And He is so tender and He loves you so much and He wants the best for you, and He will answer your prayer in the way that will ultimately make you the happiest. I have a renewed testimony of this after Saturday. It was an amazing day filled with tender mercies and sweet friends who I know will support me to the very end.


My favorite quote from conference was (naturally) the wise words of our beloved prophet, President Thomas S. Monson. "Decisions determine destiny." Our loving and kind Father in Heaven did not send us to earth to wander aimlessly without purpose or direction. He has given us aid and guidance- whether that be through the scriptures, the words of the living prophets, our patriarchal blessings, or personal revelation. The decisions we make today, with or without the help of these divine aids, will determine where we go in the future, and ultimately where we end up. We can choose to follow His path, and end up in the arms of a very loving Savior, or we can choose to follow the path of the adversary, who will not be as welcoming. The decisions we make today, large or small, will impact our future in ways that we cannot even begin to imagine right now.

It's my prayer that we are all able to do as President Thomas S. Monson counseled in his last address in this October conference, and resolve to be a little better, a little kinder, and more thoughtful. Care for each other, and succor the weak, strengthen those with feeble knees. Be people of honesty, and do what is right in all times, in all things, and in all places.

Some updates on me, health-wise, for those of you who are worried. I'm doing OK. I was able to see my regular doctor last week and we started me up on some new pain-control medication, as well as a seizure medication that works well in migraine preventative measures. I've got appointments for blood tests early next week and an eye appointment with the office where I had my eye surgery a few years ago to get my eyes checked up and make sure that there are no problems on that front. 

It's not over yet. Steps are being taken in the right direction to get everything back on track. I honestly haven't thought much about what I will be doing in the future- a month from now, two or three months from now... if I will be ready to return to the mission field or working on getting a job and an apartment. I know I have some time to think about it and I know that as long as I stay close to the Lord, and close to the Gospel through prayer, church and temple attendance, and scripture study, I'll always be on the path He wants me to be on. 

I guess the moral of this story is... endure to the end. Perseverar hasta el fin.  I love you all. Make good choices, don't do drugs, remember who you are, and as always...  Make me proud.

My first live session of general conference with Jason and Joe. 

Make the Magic

About three weeks ago, I got a phone call from a neighbor looking to see if I would be interested in being a camp counselor for Kesem. I didn't think anything of it-- I was in the process of moving and getting ready for my mission and I didn't think I'd have time to do it. The next week, after a ward trip to Manti to see the pageant, my cute friend Lindsey explained that they were still desperately in need of two female counselors for camp the following week. In a spur of the moment decision-- I told her I would do it, I would go.

I moved out of my house on the 4th of July and drove to Camp Wapiti in Tooele that Sunday. Lucky me, I was rear-ended on the way there and went through camp with a lot of neck soreness. Boo.

For those of you who don't know, Camp Kesem is a camp for children whose parents have cancer. Their goals are to provide children affected by a parent’s cancer with a supportive, lifelong camp community that recognizes and understands their unique needs and to empower college students to make a difference and build invaluable leadership skills by developing and managing every aspect of their Camp Kesem chapter.

 I was able to be a cabin counselor during this amazing week. I had eight girls that I got to supervise in the cabins at night, and talk to them about their lives, what they're going through, what their fears are. I got to play games, throw paint, squish spiders (ew), run through the rain at 11:30 at night. I had one of the younger girls grab my hand after messily going to the bathroom. I have never laughed so hard in my entire life.

One of the fun parts of camp is that no one goes by their real names. You pick a nickname (counselors included!) and that's what you go by all of camp. My nickname was NASA, because of my model rocket stuff. It psyched me out every time someone would say that because a) it was so AWESOME and b) I am not used to being called NASA ahahahaha.

I will tell you one thing. I understand now why I couldn't go earlier than now to the MTC even though I was ready. I'm leaving in August and not June because I needed to be at that camp and have those experiences. It was amazing and I totally understand now why I needed to leave later. I needed to be able to touch those kids' hearts and help them get through things that they're going through, and that's why I had to be here right now at this exact moment. And if I had put my papers in in January, I would have left a lot earlier and I wouldn't have been able to be there for these kids and make friends with the counselors and learn the things I did.

These kids are some of the most inspiring people I have ever met. I can't even imagine the pain, the anguish, the emotional rollercoasters they go through on a daily basis. These kids are so amazing and such an example to me. Somehow, despite all the heartache that goes on in their lives, they can keep smiling. Camp helps them be a kid. It helps them to get away- not to forget, per se, but it puts them in an environment where everyone surrounding them understands what they're going through. It's a friendly reminder that they are not alone. And that they're still kids, and it's okay for them to laugh, to smile and giggle and have fun. Because they're just kids after all.

If you are interested in learning more about what we do at Camp Kesem, or want to donate to help camps happen in the future, please feel free to visit our SUU Camp Kesem website. All donations go towards camp purposes and helping SUU continue these camps. The more we fundraise and the more donations we get, the more kids we can let into camp, and the more funds we have for these kids during camp.

** For privacy reasons, I can't post any photos of camp that contain kids. If you want to see more pictures or our weeklong slideshow, you can visit and "like" our Facebook page.

Shark Bait

Newport Beach Palmer Family Vacay was fantabulous. It was great. What's not to love about hanging out in a condo in California with the sun and sand for a week?

Seriously it was amazing and sooooo relaxing.

Good thing I didn't leave on my mission this week or I would be so underprepared.... because I was so dang lazy for a week straight...

Some things that happened:

My mom and I went to the Newport Beach temple. So small! But so gorgeous. #qualitytime

I taught my little favorite cousin Colty-poo how to do a fish face.

most adorable kid ever. ugh I just want to snuggle him all the time.

I accidentally stepped on a snail and squished it to smithereens... (imagine Luke Skywalker's reaction when he found out Darth Vader was his father.... that would give you a pretty good idea of how I reacted... sooooo gross)

At the Huntington Street Fair, I saw Jack Sparrow, a possum with a top hat, and a creepy giant stuffed bear. And flirted with the guy at Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory.

Chocolate and boys. Best combination there is (other than the #9 at wendy's... heheheheh)

We went to Balboa on the pier... which means...

CHEESECAKE ON A STICK.

my one true love.

Also. It's possible my sister in law and I watched lilo and stitch...

twice in a row... (whatever-- it's a good movie and it has elvis songs in it)

while she kicked my butt in phase 10...

Friendly reminder that the Steele family is obsessed with phase 10 and sometimes we stay up until the wee hours of the morning holding phase 10 championships and we play it pretty much every trip to newport

Don't mess with us in the realm of card games because we will kick trash.

Anyway.

I had managed to score some tickets to Jimmy Kimmel about a week ago, priority tickets. I would expect nothing less of me. (excuse me while I high-five myself )

So my padre and I spent the afternoon in LA (thank you rental car red camaro for the experience of a lifetime. no thank you to the crappy LA traffic that gave me a heart attack every five minutes and simultaneously made me want to punch every person I saw).

It was a dang funny show though. The guests were Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel promoting their new movie. It was called Sex Tape.

Awkward on so many levels.

Although...

it definitely wasn't as awkward as your boss asking about your undergarments for your mission.... uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... w h a t

Nevertheless, we scored bigtime when they gave us fifty dollar gift cards leaving the studio.

I mean... I guess that's the least they can do considering they had us cheer so loud and so often I almost lost my voice... score to the max, missionary stuff here I come

Bless you Jimmy Kimmel and your ability to give away large amounts of money at a time

...living the dream.

It being Friday and all, we decided to check out this beach that Cody and 'Chelle had raved about by Dana Point. It definitely wasn't a bad beach. Not too crowded or anything.

At low tide, you could walk about like a quarter of a mile and be only waist deep. Pretty legit. Thank you to the thirty something waist-deep surfers for providing some entertainment while we were sunbathing.

Back to the story.

There was a part that was pretty rocky so we went out to explore low tide. Thank goodness I wore shoes because I think every step I was trying my hardest to not step on the little hermit crab shells that were chilling on the rocks.

trying... and failing..

We got out to a point and decided to turn around. The water was rocky and knee deep and silly me didn't raise my foot high enough and sliced my toe open from nail to bridge

Thought it was just a scrape. Nope. I only discovered the bloody mass of a toe when I got to where I could step on the rocks and not submerge the dang thing in dirty salty bacteria-ridden ocean water

As we were walking back to shore (pre-toe discovery), my brother turns and says "Look, do you see that? It's a shark"

It was a blobby shadowy mass in the water until I looked closer...

...

...

It was a great white shark

...

nah I'm totally kidding.

It was just a little three-foot long leopard shark which I may have mistakenly called a tiger shark on multiple occasions.

Big difference.

Ahhhh. my shark-week obsessed self is so disappointed.

Here's the thing: I like shark week. but I hate sharks.

As soon as I saw it, I booked it back to shore

"I will not be eaten by sharks today!" I shouted triumphantly as I ran back to the shallows

(note: this didn't actually happen. I was too busy getting the hecka out of there. but it's nice to pretend I was calm and composed...)

Apparently (says the lifeguard who bandaged my nasty-A toe) they are pretty common in the area.

At least.. on that particular beach

Will I ever be swimming there again?

... nope. hard pass.

On Saturday, we got to go whale-watching with our cousins

We didn't see any whales but we saw a lot of happy dolphins (like.. hundreds. I have never seen that many in a pod in my entire life) and some cute seals.

props to xander for yelling "beluga whale" every time he saw a dolphin

youth these days...

So to sum up...

I would never want to live in California but...

I am okay with visiting there every once in a while.

Especially with my family.... #bestfriendsforeternity