"An Attitude of Gratitude"

"We can lift ourselves, and others as well, when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues." - President Thomas S Monson

I am GRATEFUL... to have grown up in a loving family, with a supportive mother and father who loved me and provided for me.

I am GRATEFUL... for a father who's favorite hobby became his job, and that he is happy where he works and good at what he does.

I am GRATEFUL... for a mother who I can call my best friend, who comes to visit me at school, who shares a love of hiking and books and who knows me better than I know myself.

I am GRATEFUL... for a brother and sister-in-law who sacrifice so much to protect the integrity of this country, and who have gone through so much but somehow still manage to make it through.

I am GRATEFUL... for a older sister, who is the example of hard work and patience, and who believes that being a dork is the best thing in the world if it makes you happy.

I am GRATEFUL... for a little sister who has put enough effort into our relationship that I now consider her one of my closest friends, and has set the most wonderful example for me in recent years.

I am GRATEFUL... for three dogs and three cats that have brought me greater joy than I could possibly imagine in fuzzy four-footed creatures, and whom I love more than words can express.

I am GRATEFUL... for my education, that through hard work and wonderful opportunities, I can now pass on my knowledge to younger generations and shape their lives in unimaginable ways.

I am GRATEFUL... for my sweet friends, who have helped me through the hardest times of my life, who have never given up on me, and who have made me laugh and have made me far happier than I ever thought I would be

I am GRATEFUL... for a car that runs and keeps me safe, that I can call my own, and that I have loved since the day I started driving it almost six years ago.

I am GRATEFUL... for a warm bed at night, a fireplace, a house with a large kitchen and spacious backyard where my dogs can play and I can see the trees and mountains and watch the rain on the windows when the storms blow in.

I am GRATEFUL... for the health that I enjoy, that I only have minor complaints and issues and that I am still alive and able to find joy in every day.

I am GRATEFUL... for the many people I've had the opportunity to meet in the thirteen houses and three states I've lived in in the past twenty two years, the things I've learned from them, and the knowledge that my life is forever changed because of their influence and kindness.

I am GRATEFUL... for modern technology, that allows us to keep in touch with people half a world away, and gives us opportunities to make a livelihood, maintain relationships, and change the world.

I am GRATEFUL... for the opportunities I've had to travel the world, for each cathedral or museum I've visited, each bridge I've crossed or field I've trekked, for bringing me knowledge and experience, and a desire for adventure that will never be quenched.

I am GRATEFUL... for the mountains that are so close by, where I can climb the rocks, hike the trails, smell the wildflowers and see the world from an unforgettable vantage point.

I am GRATEFUL... for a gospel that brings me so much peace, that teaches that all injustices will be made right in the end, that teachers that we can live with our families forever, and we will get to see them again, that we have an older brother who loved us enough to die for us, and that we can find happiness in this seemingly dark and bitter world.

I am GRATEFUL... for the time that I had to serve in my mission in Mexico, the lessons and language I learned, the people who influenced me more than they can possibly know, and the hope for a future where I can be a missionary once more.

I am GRATEFUL... for the blessings which I can't count, the ones that I don't remember, the ones that I used to have but no longer enjoy, and the endless and unimaginable blessings I will be able to enjoy in the future.

I am GRATEFUL... that I have so many things to be grateful for.

Family History: Everyone Can Do It!

It's crazy to think how different a person I was this time last year. I was still in school  (although preparing to start my final semester as an undergraduate), wasn't considering a mission, and the last thing on my mind was family history. I was lucky enough to have the most amazing roommate that semester, and a younger sister serving a mission, who both helped inspire me first and foremost to serve a mission, and second, to begin my (almost obsessive) involvement in family history. My little sister, Cassidy, had started a lot of the genealogy work before she left on her mission, and my sweet roommate and best friend, Kirsten, was amazing enough to help encourage me and get me involved in the awesome work of family history. We ended up going to the family history center at least once a week that semester, often spending 2-3 hours there, despite the fact that we both were insanely busy with school and work. And she was preparing at that time to leave on her mission to Russia. I will admit... after the first few times, I was hooked. But after Kirsten left on her mission, I didn't do as much work... until I was medically released from my mission and was spending an extraordinary amount of time at home, jobless, schoolless, and basically obligation-free. 

Except... I wasn't.

I knew that I was home for a reason- one of them being that I needed to recover from these migraines that started so suddenly in the MTC. But, as I so often taught (even in the MTC), part of missionary work includes completing work for the dead. And so, in order to to feel a little less like a total mooch, and again like a missionary (that feeling that I craved more than anything), I opened up my computer to FamilySearch. I was hooked... again. Except for this stuff is way better than drugs. Ha.

I was home a month and I found 204 names that need ordinances done, from baptisms, to sealings to parents and spouses. Part of it may be because my Dad and his side are not members, so there's a lot of work that needs to be done. I mean a lot. It's not like it was easy. I'm a fifth-generation Polish immigrant, and my great great grandparents that immigrated from Poland have no records beyond their birth and death dates. Part of the reason is because a lot of records were destroyed during the world wars. It's hard to do the in-depth name-searching, looking for a scrap of information about marriage records, birth certificates, headstones... but even if you don't have time to dig deep, someone out there in your family needs you to find them... chances are, they've been waiting for a long, long time for their work to be done. I sent this picture to my sister (who had inspired me in the first place) and she responded with possibly the best, most hopeful message that I had read since I was released from my mission. And these weren't even all the names I had found... I had already given 40 other names to friends that were helping me do the ordinances for my male ancestors. 

After I posted this photo, I had so many people that messaged me, or commented, that were so excited and looking for ways and helps so that they could do their family history as well. And so... here is a compilation of my tips and tricks that can help you find names to take to the temple!

Use the new Descendancy Feature on FamilySearch.org. Let me tell you- I found SO many names using this feature! You can select a person and view up to a four-generation descendency that includes your person's children and all of their children, and so on. It makes it so much easier to find aunts, uncles, children, etc. who may have slipped through the cracks and may be missing vital ordinances. 

LDS members now have FREE access to genealogy sites including Ancestry.com, FindMyPast, and MyHeritage. You'll want to go to these sites through FamilySearch, because it will link your FamilySearch and LDS account to these sites. 

Stuck on a name? Try visiting the LDS Family History Library in downtown Salt Lake City. They have specialists and research consultants there who will be able to help you get started and provide amazing resources. Their collection includes over 2.4 million rolls of microfilmed genealogical records; 727,000 microfiche; 356,000 books, serials, and other formats; over 4,500 periodicals and 3,725 electronic resources. FamilySearch has provided a list of tips before you visit, which can be found here. Don't go empty-handed! The consultants there can also provide you with specific resources, lists of websites, and more that can help you, especially if you're searching for records from a specific country. I got a whole list of websites that could help me look through Polish records (even though I can't read Polish... oops!). Thank goodness for Google Translate. 

The LDS Family History Library also has classes, such as "FamilySearch.org - Navigation and Record Search Basics", "Digital Digging in FamilySearch" and even more specific classes such as "Using the German/Poland Online Gazetteer Kartenmeister" and "Russian Print and Handwriting". Check out their schedule here.

When searching for records, try a variety of spellings, birth dates/years, death years, and so on... You might not have the exact spelling, or you might have the Americanized or maiden name, or immigration records might have been indexed with a few mistakes... Ancestry.com and associate sites have great tools for broadening your searches. Don't restrict your searches to exact names, birth or death dates, etc. And be open to doing a little deeper digging if someone looks similar to an ancestor of yours. We found out that we had been spelling Niedbalski incorrectly the whole time (thanks to the sweet Polish family history consultant at the genealogy library downtown). By changing the spelling, we were able to find a lot of the Niedbalski children (my great aunts and uncles). In the example below, Antonette was the Americanized spelling of Antonia. Once we realized this, we were able to track down some more information about her that we couldn't find before. 

Use the work that people have already done! A lot of the times, I've noticed that records have been found, parentage updated, etc. on one site, but not on another. Often times, you may need to transfer names, birth dates and places, death dates, and records between sites. I like to keep my base site as FamilySearch, because the most important aspect of genealogy in the church is completing temple ordinances, and FamilySearch is where all temple ordinances are requested and recorded. If you're looking to see what names are available to take to the temple, you'll only be able to find the ordinances they need on FamilySearch. 

Don't stop at just looking for parents or direct ancestors. Look for children, aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters. Sometimes the answer to finding names is not just looking for your direct ancestors, but finding the other children of your great great grandparents and working from there. One of the ways I found so many names was finding the six kids of my great great grandparents, Antonette and Frank. I couldn't find a lot of information about my own family, but by expanding my searches, I found a lot of family members of their son Max's wife, Katherine, including her parents, grandparents, and siblings. Branch out! If you're stuck on one name, try another. You could get lucky! 

Don't go to the temple without a name. Even if you don't have one, someone in your ward probably (um... definitely) has name cards that they need to get done. Heck, if you can't find anyone, I can guarantee I have name cards for you to take. 

• Check out this talk, called "The Book" given by Elder Allan F. Packer in the October 2014 General Conference
• OR check out this talk, called "A New Harvest Time" by Elder Russell M. Nelson in the April 1998 General Conference
• Read this article, called "Using Family History As A Missionary Tool" by Christopher K. Bigelow
• Look at the FamilySearch YouTube Account for more video tutorials and resources
• If you have any ideas, tips, or trick, please feel free to comment below and I'll add them to this list! 

Conference Thoughts, Tender Mercies, & Missionary Nametags

There's a story in Alma, shortly after the conversion of Alma the Younger. He's preaching in Melek and he's able to have this great success, this amazing and wonderful success in Melek and so many people feel the spirit and "they were baptized throughout the land". After Alma had finished preaching in Melek, he traveled to Ammonihah and was preaching in Ammonihah, but the people there were so wicked that they cast him out of the city and nobody heard his word or listened to him at all. In Alma 8:14-15, it reads:

14 And it came to pass that while he was journeying thither, being weighed down with sorrow, wading through much tribulation and anguish of soul, because of the wickedness of the people who were in the city of Ammonihah, it came to pass while Alma was thus weighed down with sorrow, behold an angel of the Lord appeared unto him, saying:

 15 Blessed art thou, Alma; therefore, lift up thy head and rejoice, for thou hast great cause to rejoice; for thou hast been faithful in keeping the commandments of God... 

That scripture has been keeping me positive, I think, when nothing else has been able to. I would be lying if I didn't say that this has been one of the most difficult times of my entire life. I go back and forth between being grateful to be home and have access to the medical care that I have... and feeling like a complete and total failure. A failure because I couldn't be a missionary. A failure because I couldn't fulfill my purpose, because I didn't baptize anybody, because I barely even made it out of the MTC before I had to go home.

I listened to this talk by John Bytheway in the El Paso airport on my way home from my mission where he mentioned this scripture in Alma. Alma, being one of the most successful missionaries in the book of Mormon, was discouraged by his lack of success. But the angel (the angel who had originally appeared to him in his initial conversion) appeared unto him and told him that because he had been obedient, he had reason to rejoice. Because he had been faithful, because he had followed the commandments of God, he had a reason to rejoice. It didn't matter that the people had rejected him, that no one had listened to him in Ammonihah. In my case, it didn't matter that I had only made it eight weeks in the mission before my health made me return home. Maybe someone is reading this who's in a similar situation to myself and who feels like they weren't a success on their mission because they didn't baptize or they didn't have many converts or they didn't even last very long in the mission because of health reasons. 

Heavenly Father cares more about your HEART than he cares about your STATISTICS. "God doesn't care nearly as much about where you have been as He does about where you are and, with His help, where you are willing to go.”  - Jeffrey R. Holland

"My dear brothers and sisters, it may be true that man is nothing in comparison to the greatness of the universe. At times we may even feel insignificant, invisible, alone, or forgotten. But always remember—you matter to Him! If you ever doubt that, consider these four divine principles:

First, God loves the humble and meek, for they are “greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”¹⁷

Second, the Lord entrusts “the fulness of [His] gospel [to] be proclaimed by the weak and the simple unto the ends of the world.”¹⁸ He has chosen “the weak things of the world [to] come forth and break down the mighty and strong ones”¹⁹ and to put to shame “the things which are mighty.”²⁰

Third, no matter where you live, no matter how humble your circumstances, how meager your employment, how limited your abilities, how ordinary your appearance, or how little your calling in the Church may appear to you, you are not invisible to your Heavenly Father. He loves you. He knows your humble heart and your acts of love and kindness. Together, they form a lasting testimony of your fidelity and faith.

Fourth and finally, please understand that what you see and experience now is not what forever will be. You will not feel loneliness, sorrow, pain, or discouragement forever. We have the faithful promise of God that He will neither forget nor forsake those who incline their hearts to Him.²¹Have hope and faith in that promise. Learn to love your Heavenly Father and become His disciple in word and in deed.

Be assured that if you but hold on, believe in Him, and remain faithful in keeping the commandments, one day you will experience for yourselves the promises revealed to the Apostle Paul: “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”²²

Brothers and sisters, the most powerful Being in the universe is the Father of your spirit. He knows you. He loves you with a perfect love.

God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season—He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him. " - Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "You Matter To Him", October 2011 General Conference

I met a man, a wonderful man, in the MTC, named Marco. He sent me this very sweet email a day or two after I returned home. In the email, he said: "The Lord works in myster[ious] ways, He knows your heart and [desires] to serve him. Your Name Tag is in your heart, nothing can take from YOU. One missionary told me one day: You don't have a name tag in your shirt, but you have [it] in your heart." Heavenly Father GETS it. He UNDERSTANDS. He knows your heart. He knows your desires. He knows your capabilities and limitations and potential. All He wants is for you to follow Him- always. Be obedient. Keep the commandments. Live up to your covenants. Live the gospel every day of your life. That's where the true blessings are found. 

This weekend, I had the wonderful opportunity to listen and witness general conference. I felt of the Spirit. I was able to listen and write the word of God as spoken by the mouth of His prophets. I saw miracles happen, and miracles happened to me. What an amazing opportunity for testimony building. 

I had the chance, very last minute, to go to the Saturday afternoon session with my friends from high school who both returned home from their missions earlier this year, one from Thailand and one from Mexico. All three of us sang together in the Alta High School madrigals from 2010-2011, and I'm still pleased to be able to call them my friends. This was my first general conference that I had attended in person, and that's where the miracle happened. I won't go into detail, because it's more on the personal side, but I will share this- Heavenly Father HEARS your PRAYERS and He LISTENS. And He is so tender and He loves you so much and He wants the best for you, and He will answer your prayer in the way that will ultimately make you the happiest. I have a renewed testimony of this after Saturday. It was an amazing day filled with tender mercies and sweet friends who I know will support me to the very end.


My favorite quote from conference was (naturally) the wise words of our beloved prophet, President Thomas S. Monson. "Decisions determine destiny." Our loving and kind Father in Heaven did not send us to earth to wander aimlessly without purpose or direction. He has given us aid and guidance- whether that be through the scriptures, the words of the living prophets, our patriarchal blessings, or personal revelation. The decisions we make today, with or without the help of these divine aids, will determine where we go in the future, and ultimately where we end up. We can choose to follow His path, and end up in the arms of a very loving Savior, or we can choose to follow the path of the adversary, who will not be as welcoming. The decisions we make today, large or small, will impact our future in ways that we cannot even begin to imagine right now.

It's my prayer that we are all able to do as President Thomas S. Monson counseled in his last address in this October conference, and resolve to be a little better, a little kinder, and more thoughtful. Care for each other, and succor the weak, strengthen those with feeble knees. Be people of honesty, and do what is right in all times, in all things, and in all places.

Some updates on me, health-wise, for those of you who are worried. I'm doing OK. I was able to see my regular doctor last week and we started me up on some new pain-control medication, as well as a seizure medication that works well in migraine preventative measures. I've got appointments for blood tests early next week and an eye appointment with the office where I had my eye surgery a few years ago to get my eyes checked up and make sure that there are no problems on that front. 

It's not over yet. Steps are being taken in the right direction to get everything back on track. I honestly haven't thought much about what I will be doing in the future- a month from now, two or three months from now... if I will be ready to return to the mission field or working on getting a job and an apartment. I know I have some time to think about it and I know that as long as I stay close to the Lord, and close to the Gospel through prayer, church and temple attendance, and scripture study, I'll always be on the path He wants me to be on. 

I guess the moral of this story is... endure to the end. Perseverar hasta el fin.  I love you all. Make good choices, don't do drugs, remember who you are, and as always...  Make me proud.

My first live session of general conference with Jason and Joe.